Im in my fifties and have drank alcohol on and off since I was 21 (legally).
I can remember stretches of years- 10 years where I didnt drink at all.
I can also remember (or not really remember) longish runs of drinking often.
One “peak experience” when I was in my 20’s , I can remember -went like this…
Arriving home at 3 am (somehow -I drove home). I think.
Crawling up my stairs, as in on all fours to get to the bathroom- to pray to the false god of porcelain.
“Never again”..I will never drink again.”
In bed, the entirety of the next day. too sick to eat or move, till evening.
I learned what wasted means.

Recently
(the last few years)

Beer was the drink. Home was the place.
Youtube videos usually my drinking companion.
I would watch video after video. pour beer after beer. Usually I would drink 8-10 beers
before either falling asleep on my desk or stumbling to bed.
I was well behaved. I never drove, or left the house really.
I drank almost nightly.
Id quit for a week, a month, then start again. I really enjoyed those bouts of sobriety,
They were a dry run (no pun), a momentum builder to today.

Gotta hve your “WHY”.
(I LIKE how I feel when sober)

For the last year I have recorded 12 entries into my journal stating”Im done”.
“Never again”. Is that the same “never again” I claimed when I was 22?
I wrote almost the same reasons why I was quitting in each journal entry.
-The money.
-The hangover.
-Poisoning myself.
-Not thinking clearly during the day.

-Unable to drive at night. (I was trashed).
-The 900-1000 empty calories I was guzzling.
-The binging on food I would do while trashed.
-The STUPID emails I sent out.
-The alcohol slows & dims my awakening / clarity & creativity.

The QUIT

Today, I have quit. Forever. 1-1-2022
(It happens to be New Years day, but-this is not a resolution).
Its a decision. I have transcended Alcohol.
Alcohol has served me well over the years.
The booze helped cover over the pain I felt.
The drink made me both the life and the asshole of the party.
But now, for me, alcohol no longer is needed, it no longer serves me.
Nowmy fife IS good. I want to be “in” my life now. I want to be here!
I talked about this on my latest podcast…
Podcast #7 “Alcohol”

The END.
Ive said enough.
(More words would just dilute the story).
-Scott

Welcome to the R3volution.
You are not alone.